youwishangelfish:

Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.

egg-rolls:

i just remembered something i did when i was 13 now my day is ruined

psychoticpingouins:

48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.

veryghostlythoughts:

Today while at work a guy came in and brought 10 dozen eggs. After I gave him his change and the last bag of eggs he looked at me with the most serious expression ever and said “eggcellent” before walking away and I swear in that moment I had never been happier to sell a man eggs